I'm ashamed of what I did and worse, what i put her through. I only hope I can give my wife back just a small part of the years I stole from her worrying about me, bailing me out, lying for me, covering for me. I know some people will think my actions are cowardly and self serving. Someone when she looks in their eyes she does not see the constant reminder of the pain and suffering I inflicted on her. She is young enough that she could have a great life with the right guy. As long as I'm around, the scars (figuratively) are visible. Yeah, it's better but the damage is done. The not knowing, the worry, the inability to pay bills unsure if I would be working next week or in jail. that the pain I put her through was immeasurable.

Many DUI's, jail time, probation, infidelity, in and out of rehab and finally strung some sobriety together (coming up on 5 years) but all that did was make it clear to me.

Great kids, good jobs, owned my own business but drugs and alcohol addictions wreaked havoc on my wife and my life. I am facing this very issue right now in my marriage of 27 years. He's the burden, the pain, the suffering and he (in his thinking) making that last final gesture he can to his love, his final apology, that he won't hurt her anymore (a side of me you didn't know). It's a reversal of 'if you love someone set them free.' in this case, it's the opposite, he's leaving. THE REASON lyrics by Hoobastank: Im not a perfect person / Theres many things I wish I didnt do / But I continue learning / I never meant to do tho. He's leaving her (start over new, I wish I could take it all away, say BEFORE I GO.) His remorse and guilt are so strong that the only way he can truly show her the love he has for her and the anguish from his misdeeds is to leave.

Hoobastank the reason lyrics